Asking for a raise is a delicate process. You need to enter your boss’s office armed with lawyer-like research, yet you must retain the tact of a Miss Manners or Emily Post. At the very least, if you want to know how to negotiate a raise, you must steer clear of the following blunders:

Not knowing what others are getting paid. Work etiquette dictates you can’t ask up front what others are making, but that doesn’t stop you from going to salary.com to find out. The last thing you want to do is request a salary that will seem ridiculous to your boss.

Launching a surprise attack. Never, ever bring up a raise when your boss can blow you off. Request an appointment of at least 30 minutes, which will give you time to make your case. Asking for a raise while your boss is preparing his morning coffee will only annoy him.

Assuming you deserve it. A cost-of-living increase is a perfectly reasonable request. However, barging into your boss’s office and demanding a raise just because you’ve been working there for a few years is not. The only things that will convince your boss you deserve a raise are if you are on his radar and if you have worked for it.

Pulling in too much information about other coworkers. By referencing what other people at your level make, your boss might see you as a gossip, especially if it turns out that you’re wrong.

Relying on emotional appeals. Saying you need the raise for a particular reason just won’t help, no matter how much you may need the money. Chances are many people where you work are in a similar situation.

Inventing offers from elsewhere. You can talk up and down about how other companies would hire you in a heartbeat, but bosses don’t like arrogance, and it doesn’t mean anything if you can’t follow up.

Forgetting other benefits. Your employer might not want to give you a raise if money is tight, but you could negotiate for a more flexible work schedule, vacation time or a bonus instead.

For more information on negotiating salary, visit the career and money section of Life123.com.

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